I have realised today, or rather reaffirmed this idea which has been floating around for a few months, that as an artist I have a great need to withdraw into myself. When that doesn't happen as much as I need to I end up cranky, bad tempered and with a low mood. Unfortunately, I'm struggling to withdraw properly at the moment and it's making me a crappy person at times in all my roles - bad mother, wife, friend and colleague. I can’t help feeling this way so I have apologised this weekend to my family for my behaviour which has been particularly acute this week.
A drain on my time is my Open University degree, I’m studying a BA Hons Open degree which is a varied degree on the arts - for me it’s early years care and education, art history and creative writing/literature. I love my studies and education is an absolute gift which I truly realised recently after almost packing in my degree. However, as I come to the end of my third year of six (it’s part-time distance learning so it takes double the length) I am struggling to keep it together. The finishing line is in sight though and I’m trying to find that balance. Today, working on the CAPI course (see side bar and previous post on CAPI for details) has brought a few breakthroughs including these thoughts :O). I’m also planning my way forward in developing my style which is slowly being revealed through CAPI and I shall blog more about that soon.
Does anyone else feel this need to withdraw? I’m pretty confident you do and would love to hear about how you strike the balance? How you manage those times where time for you and your art is severely marginalised?
Looking inward, time to contemplate...
Happy arting everyone